Misleading Phrases

Over the years I've seen / heard numerous phrases which when one thinks about them make no sense.

For instance

Near Miss
Surely a near miss is actually a collision?

This plane is taking off momentarily
Does this mean it's landing straight away?

Authorized Parking Only
Normally the sign never indicates WHO has to supply authorization, so as long as my passenger says I can park there it's ok.

CAUTION Wet Floor
I'd rather NOT wet the floor here but thanks for the invitation to do so.

Door Alarmed at Night
Maybe it needs a night light so it's not scared

Any other ones people care to share?

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